The Silent Epidemic: Why So Many IIT-JEE and NEET Aspirants Are Struggling

A particular quiet settles over households during exam prep years. The child is in their room, books open, hours logged. From the outside, it looks like discipline. From inside, for many students, it's a slow, isolating grind costing far more than anyone at the dinner table realises.

The numbers can't be ignored. One in five students preparing for IIT-JEE or NEET reports severe anxiety and depression. An ICMR study found 32% of Indian college students show moderate to severe depression symptoms. And suicide is now the leading cause of death among Indians aged 15 to 29 - a statistic the WHO flags as a genuine crisis signal, not an isolated tragedy.

Rather than alarming parents, it is meant to support them by sharing what's happening beneath the discipline and silence and what to do before it escalates.

Why This Pressure Is So Intense

• The stakes feel absolute. Many students tie their entire worth, not just a degree, to one exam result.

• The isolation is physical. Relocating to coaching hubs cuts students off from family and routine during their most vulnerable years.

• Comparison is constant and numerical. Rank lists and mock scores turn every week into a public measurement against hundreds of peers, creating constant pressure on the child.

• Rest feels like guilt. When the exam becomes the family's central project, any pause can feel like failure, even if or when the child is exhausted.

• There's no permission to struggle. Admitting difficulty can feel like letting down parents who've invested years and money, creating additional guilt loop.

What This Can Look Like

• Performance drops that don't match effort (or working harder while producing less, as it may often be burnout, not laziness)

• Withdrawal and irritability at home

• Unexplained headaches or fatigue near test dates

• Disrupted sleep

• Loss of interest in things they used to enjoy

• Self-critical language ("I'm useless") after a bad mock test

• Flat mood or hopeless talk about the future.

Any one sign alone means little. Several together, over weeks, are worth taking seriously.

What Parents Often Get Wrong
Framing rest as a reward, not a baseline need. Jumping straight to "what's the plan" instead of acknowledging effort first. Comparing to siblings or peers, even with good intentions. Treating a request to slow down as a lack of seriousness, when it's often the first honest signal something needs to change.

What Actually Helps

Separate the exam outcome from your child's worth. Assure them with kind words. Watch for burnout, not just poor grades; more hours won't fix depletion. Make "I'm struggling" safe to say and respond with concern first, solutions second. Consider professional support proactively, not as a last resort. Know the signs needing immediate attention: hopeless language, talk of not wanting to be around, or sudden calm after distress; these need help without delay.

Ambition and wellbeing aren't opposites. Sustainable performance needs a regulated nervous system, not just longer hours.

At Shaping Destiny, we work with students and families navigating exactly this by building tools for anxiety, motivation, and self-worth that hold up under real academic intensity.

If this sounds like your household, book a wellbeing call today - https://bit.ly/SDiscoveryCall

Frequently Asked Questions

My child says they're "fine" but I sense something is off. What should I do? Trust that instinct. Create low-pressure moments to talk or take a walk or go for a drive. Instead of asking directly, which often gets a reflexive "I'm fine," have an open discussion about how life has been lately, if they are struggling with anything you can help with.

What if I'm worried my child may be at risk of self-harm? Treat this as urgent. Reach out immediately to a trusted doctor or a helpline like Tele-MANAS (14416 / 1800-891-4416) or iCall (9152987821). Shaping Destiny isn't a crisis service, but help is available for routine or regular support.

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If you’re feeling vulnerable or unsafe, please contact someone you trust, your doctor, or use one of these helplines:

India Helplines:
• Tele-MANAS: 14416 / 1800-891-4416
• iCall: 9152987821
• KIRAN: 91529-87821
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At Shaping Destiny, we believe everyone deserves a life of clarity and meaning. Using proven evidence-based and goal-oriented therapeutic approaches, we help you navigate your emotional world with confidence and care.